pathetic fallacy

*stretches* today wasnt the best of days...the weather proves that, and well, the weather ultimately affects my mood. =( so that's the first ouch...well, the first was actually getting little sleep last night...but yeah

the second was coming down the stairs at school cuz i was done for the day. these 2 niner guys decided to stop right in front of me while on the stairs...sooo i ubuptly stopped with them wid little complaint, then i feel this pressure on my back, someone hit into me.

me: @_@...*keep walking*
girl 1: omg i think i just hit into someone
girl 2: oh yeah *laugh*
girl 1 (attempting to whisper but failing miserably): who is that?
girl 2: dunno
they come around to my side as we reach the bottom of the stairs

girl 1 glances at me: "oh."

and both of them walk away wid their heads high and giggling...@_@ and it wasnt a "oh, ok" it was an, *disguisted* "oh".

itz only after that u think up good come backs...well for me ne way

girl 1 glances at me: "oh"

me: OH - i thought some FAT GUY bumped into me, turns out it was just a stupid, clumsy niner!


but yeah. life goes on.

oh i forgot ouch number 2...was not actually this incident. ouch number 2 was talking to a school friend about keane, she was saying how he may be just trying to mooch off my family and i, and was wondering if he even felt guilty for being such a lazy guy when he's lucky enough to have us to take care of him, and, of course, the main topic of recent, jessica

which pretty much brought down my sunny outlook for today

which brings me to ouch 4

right after the ouch 3 inicident i was left to wait at the doors for my dad to pick me up. I waited for a while...and i had time to think. time to think about my friend's comments and words. i was wondering...how do i react to this? how do i take this into account of my life? keanes been living wid us for over a yr now and he's still lazy and slightly irresponsible.

not much to do.

and as for jessica i started wondering if i should sneak onto keanes msn account and activate mssg history. no he doesnt have mssg history - weird isnt it? but of course those are for those "wat id do if i wasnt sane" moments...which i like to think im still sane.

jessica is not a threat, not at all, but then why am i writing about her?

idunno.

it's those ironic moments in life that seem to appear. jessica is not SUPPOSED to be a big fucking deal, but CONSTANTLY something about her comes up, CONSTANTLY i haf to wonder "is keane telling the WHOLE truth?" and yes, sometimes it's because other ppl bring it up, and ask me about it. yes i kno, i shouldnt be naive...but wat does that mean? that i should assume the worst from keane?

can i live like that?

nononononono. dammit, well keane, if u haf the hots for this niner go out wid her. but u wont haf me, that's the thing, oh yes, but that doesnt mean u cant live here, or i wont be ur friend (how weird does this sound?) i just dont wanna be LIED to.

and he knows this. and all i can do is trust...even IF it pisses me off that she writes in her fucking blog "ohh im waiting for nii-chan, when is he gonna come, will he ever come? time will tell."

well FUCK keane she obviously thinks ur gonna come doesnt she? or at least believes in some fraction of some apparent hope - why do u continue to lead her on like this?

i dont care about her. not at all.

im mad AT U for this...for wat, now i dont even remember why im made.



ouch number 5, i came home today and went online. no one is online. ouch number 6. i went to write on blog about my day and starting ranting about a 14 yr old that ive only met about three times.

ouch number 7 now i gotta think of something to do as my post is coming to a close. i gotta think of something to do for the next few hours...until either i sleep or i wait for keane to come home

whichever

i cant necessarily say im depressed. maybe this time i haf reason to be? i never kno, i feel stoic and cold. wait i am cold, im RLLY cold...*my hands* >.<

oh wellies, 70% is things wid things i shouldnt say, things that are not left for public access. things EVERYBODY KNOWS, but everyone DOESNT SAY, because it is just fucking polite.

well im not polite. and this is my blog, so screw u public.


-hoshi